
As an exotic dancer, people are constantly trying to touch you, invade your space, and grope you. If you yelled at every customer that tried to violate you then you wouldn't have one. They will always push you to see what they can get from you- this will never change. You have to tell them no while also getting them to continue spending on you. Clubs are no help. They will leave you to fend for yourself and blame you for what the customer does to you. It's a lot, so what can you do?
Blame Someone Else
You would looooooovveee his hands on you right now, but the club will yell at both of you. Tell him you don't want either of you to get in trouble so that way you can stay in each other's lives and continue all this great fun that you're having.
You would loooooveee to accept the generous offer he gave you to meet outside but if the club finds out you'll lose your job.
You would looooooveeee to get way freakier with him but the other girls will get jealous and talk shit about you. He doesn't want you to lose your job, right?
Sweet NOs
Managing an unruly customer is difficult. Your job is to entice them but entice them too much and they try to violate you. It's like being set up to fail, right? To be a hustler you have to master the art of the sweet no.
Instead of touching me there, touch me here. It feels better.
My biggest turn-on is [something that doesn't violate your boundary].
We can only do that in a private room.
Leave & Come Back
If the customer is absolutely doing the most for the least and you're about to slap him then remove yourself from the situation. Even if it's just a bathroom break, freshening up at your locker, or hiding in a corner. This is good especially if he's already violated a boundary. Putting distance between you allows you to put the wall back up and manage his behavior because he has to re-break that wall again which is more effort than breaking it the first time.
Excited men can behave like toddlers. Put him in time-out and go sell some other dances while he watches you make money and not even need him. This creates more desire. You may lose the sale or you may make more, but if you need the distance then do it.
Make It Kinky
He's doing too much and you need to take control of the situation NOW. Pin his arms back above his head. Put your knees on his hands as you straddle him during a dance. Watch his reaction and see if he has an appetite for you taking control. Explore that. Some may have a knee-jerk negative reaction to being controlled, some will play along but not care, and some will enjoy it and want more. If you can wrangle him in and get the power back into your hands then you can control the situation and feel safe again. Plus, you might learn something new about him.
Ask For Help
While bouncers and managers are supposed to protect us, it seems like they never do. That's why I consider asking them for help as a last resort. They might even blame you if the customer gets mad. But if you've tried everything and feel like you're in danger then get help. Most situations can be avoided if you have a clear head and some experience handling them.
This is YOUR job, YOUR office, YOUR livelihood, and YOUR body, don't let them take it from you. What are some ways that you enforce boundaries? Comment below.
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